Review: Water (H2O)
Category: Compounds
Author: Anonymous
Rating: 74%
Water is a substance whose molecules consist of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen. It has a number of interesting properties, and is the most common liquid on the exterior of the planet Earth- despite being apparently scarcer on the surface of other celestial bodies. It is a staple for life, with many life forms even requiring the substance for respiration. Due, in part, to the hydrogen bonds between the atoms of each molecule, water retains heat very well; it also conducts electricity, and can be found naturally on earth in solid, liquid and gaseous form. It is also the only substance to pre-exist God’s extensive work in Genesis; along with darkness, it is therefore the only thing in the universe which isn’t attributed explicitly to God.
Water does a good job, it must be said. It’s very versatile, and performs many roles- some better than others. It’s definitely the substance of choice, for example, to swim in- juice, or liquid nitrogen, or molten lead don’t even come close. In terms of drinking it’s absolutely average- it’s not as nice as syrup, but it’s definitely better than grapefruit juice, which just tastes bloody awful. I hate grapefruit juice, people drink it with breakfast usually and I think that’s because they can only convince themselves to drink it when they haven’t woken up properly yet.
Water can kill though. Humans, like most life forms, need it to live. Yet if we get too much, we die. There are also hundreds of things that can go wrong with water which make it lethal to drink; but there’s no alternative. This is what I really dislike about water- it’s cornered the market, it’s got a monopoly. There’s no incentive for it to improve. It also takes up the majority of the earth’s surface, and to top it all off it’s also absorbed a big portion of the world’s salt. I say water’s had a free ride for far too long.
I should mention water’s other forms too. Water vapour doesn’t seem that great to me, I have to say. It doesn’t seem to have much of a purpose. Sure, clouds look nice, but what’s the point? And as far as I’m concerned, rain is just a bit much. Water already covers 70% of the earth, now it needs to soak dry land as well? Know your limits. In many ways, water is like Richard Branson: just because you’re good at one thing, doesn’t mean you should try and do everything.
Ice is also a bit odd. It’s apparently very popular on other planets in the solar system, but we really don’t have much use for it here. Credit where credit’s due for igloos, but really not a big favourite. Ice just isn’t a crowd pleaser, and should stop wasting our time.
Water has done a great job for a long time. Over its 13 billion year career, it’s been responsible in great part for the creation of life itself. It’s shaped the contours of the planet Earth, as it shapes planets all over the universe. The geometric patterns of its crystals, floating in the depths of space, have an eternal and objective beauty. I think it’s outstayed its welcome though, and should be retired. Maybe it can be replaced with something nicer, like milk.
