Review: 猫手 (Neko-Te)
Category: Weapons
Author: Anonymous Ninja
Rating: 85%
The Neko-te, or cat’s paw, is a weapon favoured by Japanese ninjas. It consists of a pair of glove-like contraptions (although they can be used individually) worn on the hands, the fingers of which terminate in offensive blades or needles. The Neko-Te is an example of the Kakushi Buki school of weaponry- literally, the hidden weapons. As such it is designed primarily as a weapon of self-defence, although a skilful ninja will be able to use a pair of Neko-Te to open the main arteries of an opponent. Use of the Neko-Te is still taught in the Bujinkan and Jinenkan Dojos under masters Masaaki Hatsumi and Manaka Unsui respectively. Freddy Krueger, the dream-murderer who achieved notoriety for a spate of murders in 1984, also favours a variant of the Neko-Te.
It’s obvious even to the most pacific mind that the Neko-Te is a pretty cool weapon. I think maybe the best thing about it is the animal reference- it just makes the whole thing a little more varied and colourful. Would they have been as popular as ‘cutting gloves’? Or ‘Sharp Hands’? I can’t see it catching on. With cat claws though, you get the allusion to a predatory animal; it’s very similar in principal to X-Men’s Wolverine, but the gay costume is optional.
There is the issue of the fatality count; when I’m picking my top ten weapons to take to a desert island, I want them to have a high killing power. That’s the point of a weapon, surely. Or is it? The Neko-Te philosophy is partially about defence- but it’s also a weapon that specialises in causing a lot of pain. Why kill your enemy when you could slice them all over with an intricate network of lacerations? Sure, with the Neko-Te you can’t make someone dead- but you can make them wish they were dead.
Don’t forget your fear factor, too- which plays into the animalistic persona. A guy with a sword is just that: a guy with a sword. The Neko-Te are somehow more integrated, and become a part of your outfit as much as your panoply, and will definitely put the fear of imminent and painful death in the hearts of your enemies- which is where it belongs.
It’s a defensive as well as offensive weapon, which at the end of the day is very practical; why carry one of each? In fact, since they’re gloves, the Neko-Te allow you to carry none at all. You could actually still hold an axe, or a gun, or a baseball bat- although these probably wouldn’t do justice to the elegant Japanese armoury. It really is a very practical weapon, when you think about it, and stealthy too- don’t forget, they’re designed to be easily concealed.
The flipside of this is the fact that it’s harder to do almost anything when your fingers end in knives. I won’t go into detail, but it’s probably safe to assume that this weapon has a pretty high accidental injury factor. Scratching, nose picking and especially rubbing your eyes are all very bad ideas; not much of a problem for ninjas, who have impeccable manners and are never tired, but for everyone else you’ve got to be very careful. Not a weapon for beginners, that’s what I’m saying.
Overall I would definitely recommend the Neko-Te to any race with appendages on which to wield them- as long as you’re experienced enough to handle it. You’ll need plenty of training, but it will be worth it in the end, especially if you’re as thoroughly vindictive and egregious as the race who conceived them (if you’re asking yourself whether I’m referring to the Japanese or the human race, then you have way too much faith in both of them). Armourers everywhere, take note of the Neko-Te.
