Review: Death Star Category: Weapons
Author: Galactic Empire
Rating: 83%
The Death Star is a super-weapon which doubles as a space station because of its incredible size. At least as large as a class four moon, the Death Star destroys entire celestial bodies with a concentrated super-laser shot from a characteristic crater above the star’s equatorial trench. Only two death stars were ever commissioned, both by the Galactic Empire, and only one- that under the command of Grand Moff Tarkin- was ever completed, although the second was operational in offensive terms at the time it was destroyed by the rebel alliance; the second was also significantly larger, boasting a 900km diameter in comparison to the first model’s 160km. The Death Star is spherical and white, and can travel at superluminal velocity; its creation, and subsequent destruction, inspired a range of galactic weapons including the Sun Crusher, the Galaxy Gun and the World Devastator.
The Galactic Empire have really got it spot on with their weapons, and it all started with the Death Star. Sure, DS1 had its share of problems- wait a minute, no it didn’t. It was only the second time they’d ever made one (they made a prototype) and the whole thing- the whole thing- had only one Achilles heel. Apple make bigger mistakes before breakfast each day. DS1 didn’t have anywhere near its share of problems. Sure, the critics are going to get on their high horse, but critics will be critics. If they hate the Galactic Empire so much, why don’t they try getting their weaponry from the rebels? Oh, that’s right, the rebels never made anything, which is why they have to put up with C3PO. Let’s be realistic here.
And it’s not like it was so easy to blow it up anyhow- a lot of rebels did get killed. In fact, only one made it out of a fairly large group, so the Death Star held its own despite bad luck. It got blown up, but in principle it was pretty much a wash. And the rebels used magic. The point is, I’m tired of DS1 being slated because of one little design flaw. It’s not as bad as we’re making it out.
Looking at the weapon itself, my main complaint is the 24 hour recharge time. One planet a day seems like a lot now, but a guy with a Death Star can quickly find himself with a lot of enemies. To be honest, I never knew how fast the thing could go though- it has a network of ion engines which really can crank up the speed. So saying, I wouldn’t be confident steering it; the shape isn’t ideal. Do remember though: this is not a ship, it is a mobile galactic weapon.
Returning to the weapon, in fact, it does concern me that it may be a little too powerful. I’ve got to be honest, there’s a huge novelty factor. It’s extreme, it’s cool, it’s different (blowing up entire planets, I mean)- but at the end of the day, I usually don’t need to kill everyone on any given planet. Even if I did, I don’t know if I’d want to destroy the planet too. I know, it’s an extreme statement- and I get that, believe me. But realistically, I’m going to fire that twice before I’m bored of it- and then I’d be better off with a cheap ‘n’ cheerful lightsaber.
DS2 just exacerbates the problem. If I already have a 160km Death Star, do I really upgrade to a 900km model? The specs are practically identical. It’s not a good way to spend money; flash, yeah. Sensible, no. No, no, no.
Pretty much everything about the Death Star is cool- even that almost-impossible-to-reach weakness. And if galactic weapons had stopped there, no one would have complained. But they didn't, and the simple fact is that the market is a very different place now than it was when DS1 was completed in 0 BBY. Expect to see it get higher ratings when concept weaponry comes back in; until then, I’d take a DS1 if you feel keen. But don’t force yourself.
